It's OFFICAL

It's my birthday and I’m old.

The government sent me a Medicare card to prove it.

They need not have bothered.  I already knew it.

Along with all the gravitational  ravages my body’s endured,

my mind has gone south too.

* * *

I don’t mean memory wise. Hell, that happened in my 30s.

I mean my opinions of what’s happening in the world are echoing those of my father when I was 18:

My dad said:

Of the Beatles- dressed in suits & ties: Those slobs need haircuts!

Of gas prices: I’ll be damned if I’ll pay more than .35 a gallon.

Of TV:  That Bandstand is just a bunch of noise with fanny-shaking.

Of the President: Finally! A Catholic in the White House. Can he get those Commies straightened out?

Of  Me: Just wait ‘til you have kids of your own, young lady.

Of  Me:  Get a JOB!  You need to learn the value of a dollar.

Now I’m 65 and I say:

Lady Gaga should just SING. Who wears meat & rides around in an egg?

Charlie Sheen - ass.
Lindsay Lohan - ass.
Kardashians - family of asses.

Of gas prices: I’ll be damned if I’ll pay $3.00,  $4.00,  $5.00 a gallon.

Of TV: I refuse to watch a bunch of slutty housewives.

Of the President:  I don't care if he's purple- can he fix the @#$%^&* economy?

Of Me: I don’t FEEL like a great grandmother (come July)

Of Me: What?! No Cost Of Living Raise on my Social Security this year? I need a job!

I am a crone- a woman of wisdom. I have developed skills I didnt have before.

I can laugh, cough, sneeze and pee all at the same time.

 So I will embrace my age BUT WITH DIGNITY
remembering that some hold on waaaay too long.

***
I was bitchin' at 18 and I'm still bitchin' at 65.